Living with ADHD
Parenting and ADHD, in both directions
Parenting and ADHD meet in two directions, often in the same family. If your child may have ADHD: run the GP referral and the school SENCO conversation in parallel, keep dated notes, and check DLA for children, which needs no diagnosis and is not means tested. If you are the parent with ADHD: the answer is scaffolding, not more effort, and discovering your own ADHD through your child's assessment is genuinely common. Both directions have free, real support; this page maps where it lives.
Information only, not medical advice and not parenting advice for your specific situation. Diagnosis is always for qualified clinicians.
Direction one: your child
- Assessment routes: GP referral to CAMHS or community paediatrics; how children's routes differ from adults' is covered in children vs adults.
- School support now: the SENCO conversation does not wait for diagnosis. Ask what SEN support can start this term and keep everything in writing.
- Money: DLA for children: the comparative "more care than peers" test, no diagnosis required, rates and evidence tips.
- Waiting-list reality: our waiting-times tracker shows the published picture; claim DLA and push school support while you wait rather than after.
Direction two: you
A child's diagnosis is one of the most common routes to a parent's own, because the checklist reads like your school reports. If that is happening, the adult assessment guide and Right to Choose cover the free NHS routes. Day to day, the family versions of the standard scaffolds carry most weight: one visible family calendar everyone reads, radically shrunk routines, and dropping the standards that only existed to look normal. A regulated parent beats a perfect one, every time.
Frequently asked questions
My child might have ADHD. Where do I start?
Two tracks at once. Health: speak to your GP about a referral (CAMHS or community paediatrics depending on area), and read our children vs adults guide for how the routes differ. School: talk to the class teacher and the SENCO about support in class, which does not need to wait for a diagnosis. Keep short dated notes of what you see at home; they are useful evidence on both tracks.
Can we get financial help for a child with ADHD?
Possibly, and many families miss it: DLA for children applies where a child needs substantially more care or supervision than others the same age, a diagnosis is not required to claim, and it is not means tested. Our DLA guide covers rates and the comparative test. A DLA award can also increase other support and open Carer’s Allowance eligibility for a parent.
I have ADHD and parenting is overwhelming me. Is that normal?
Very. Parenting is an executive-function marathon: routines, appointments, permission slips, other people’s emotions on top of your own regulation. The scaffolding that helps elsewhere helps here doubled: externalised family calendars, radically simplified routines, and honest task-sharing with any co-parent. ADHD also runs in families, so plenty of parents discover their own ADHD through their child’s assessment; if that is you, the adult assessment guide is the next read.
Do parent training courses mean my parenting caused the ADHD?
No. ADHD is neurodevelopmental; parenting does not cause it. NICE recommends parent-training programmes for younger children because specific techniques work better with ADHD brains, not because standard parenting failed morally. Think of them as learning the manual for the child you actually have. This is information, not medical advice.
Editor, ADHD Helper
Adam leads ADHD Helper's editorial coverage of adult ADHD, and he writes it from lived experience: Adam has ADHD himself, diagnosed as an adult, and has been through the assessment routes and the daily workarounds this site covers. He is the founder and managing director of Muswell Rose and researches the plain-English explainers on getting an ADHD assessment through NHS Right to Choose or privately, and on the products and tools people use to manage ADHD, drawing on guidance from the NHS, NICE and the Royal College of Psychiatrists. He is clear that the site is information, not medical advice, and that diagnosis is for a registered clinician.
Last reviewed: 19 July 2026